LOVE MAGIC

In some circles of the Pagan community, magical workings pertaining to love are frowned upon. The rationale is that to do any magic related to love is to interfere with the free will of someone else. However, there are many traditions that believe love magic is perfectly acceptable to perform, either generally (as in, "bring love my way") or specifically (as in, "Brad is gonna fall head over heels in love with me"). If you're of the opinion that love-oriented workings fall within your scope of ethics, here's some information on traditional love magic.

Love Poppets

In some forms of European folk magic, there are a number of ways to bring love your way. One of the most well-known (and easiest) is through the use of a poppet, or magical doll. You can approach this in a couple of different ways:

• Create a poppet that represents yourself, and use it to draw love to you
• Create a poppet that represents the object of your affection, if your tradition permits you to do so, and use it to compel the person to see you as someone worthy of love
• Create a poppet for yourself and a poppet for the person you wish to be with, and do a working that brings the two of them together

Remember, if your beliefs prohibit you from doing love magic on other people, the first option may be the best one for you.

Chemistry of Love

Question: Is There Really a Chemistry of Love?

Answer: I don't think there are any magic love potions that you can use to make someone fall in love, but chemistry does play an important role in how a relationship progresses. First, there's attraction. Nonverbal communication plays a big part in initial attraction and some of this communication may involve pheromones, a form of chemical communication. Did you know that raw lust is characterized by high levels of testosterone? The sweaty palms and pounding heart of infatuation are caused by higher than normal levels of norepinepherine. Meanwhile, the 'high' of being in love is due to a rush of phenylethylamine and dopamine. All is not lost once the honeymoon is over. Lasting love confers chemical benefits in the form of stabilized production of serotonin and oxytocin. Can infidelity be blamed on chemistry? Perhaps in part. Researchers have found that suppression of vasopressin can cause males (voles, anyway) to abandon their love nest and seek new mates. Hey, you gotta have chemistry!

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About my love

True Love Is...

• True Love is Caring. The ancient Greeks had many different names for different forms of love: passion, virtuous, affection for the family, desire, and general affection. But no matter how love is defined, they all hold a common trait: caring.


• True Love is Attractive. Attraction and chemistry form the bond that allows people to mate. Without this romantic desire for another individual, a relationship is nothing more than lust or infatuation.


• True Love is Attached. Like the mother-child bond, attachment comes after the initial attraction. Attachment is the long term love that appears anywhere from one to three years into a romantic relationship (sometimes sooner and very rarely after), and you'll know you've found it when you can honestly say, "I've seen the worst and the best you have to offer, and I still love you," while your partner feels the same way.


• True Love is Commited. When it comes to true love, commitment is more than just monogamy. Its the knowledge that your partner cares for you and has your back, no matter what the circumstances. People who are strongly commited to one another will, when faced with seemingly negative information about their partner, see only the positive. For example, a friend comments that your partner doesn't say a lot. "Ah yes, he's the strong, silent type," you reply. People with less commitment to their partner would instead say something like, "Yeah, I can never have conversation with him. Its annoying."


• True Love is Intimate. Intimacy is a crucial component of all relationships, regardless of their nature. In order to know another, you need to share parts of yourself. This self-revealing behavior, when reciprocated, forms an emotional bond. Over time this bond strengthens and even evolves, so that two people merge closer and closer together. Intimacy by itself if is a great friendship, but compiled with the other things in this list, it forms an equation for true love.

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